Steve Ballmer announced the latest edition of the software giant's Windows XP line of desktop operating systems: Windows XP Homeless Edition.

"With XP Homeless, we're closing the gap for a segment of society that has been historically underrepresented in the software market."

"This version of XP is basically a limited version of the XP Home edition. We’ve taken out Movie Maker, Media Player, and Internet Explorer, and we’ve added PocketChange Pro, Outlook Grim, Microsoft Streets & Trips, Cardboard Creator, and Microsoft Train Tracks Simulator.”

"We've taken out a lot of the fluff and pizzazz so that we could lower the price to 2.50, or whatever you've got on you.”



Are your investments in order?
Below are some of the latest rumors from Wall Street.
In the wake of the AOL/Time Warner deal, here are the latest mergers we can expect to see:

1. Hale Business Systems, Mary Kay Cosmetics, Fuller Brush,
and W.R. Grace Company merge to become Hale Mary Fuller Grace.
2. Polygram Records, Warner Brothers, and Keebler Crackers
merge to become Polly-Warner-Cracker.
3. 3M and Goodyear merge to become MMMGood.
4. John Deere and Abitibi-Price merge to become Deere Abi.
5. Zippo Manufacturing, Audi Motors, Dofasco, and Dakota Mining merge to become Zip Audi Do Da.
6. Honeywell, Imasco, and Home Oil merge to become Honey I'm Home.
7. Denison Mines, and Alliance and Metal Mining merge to
become  Mine All Mine.
8. Federal Express and UPS merge to become FED UP. Thats a joke
9. Xerox and Wurlitzer will merge and begin manufacturing reproductive organs.
10. Fairchild Electronics and Honeywell Computers will merge and become Fairwell Honeychild.
11. 3M, J.C. Penney and the Canadian Opera Company will merge and become 3 Penney Opera.
12. Knott's Berry Farm & National Organization of Women will merge and become Knott NOW.

Top 10 Useless Inventions
10. Inflatable Anchor
9. Silent Alarm Clock
8. Solar Powered Flash Light
7. A black highlighter pen
6. Waterproof sponge
5. Battery powered Charger
4. Ejector seats for Helicopters
3. Braille Drivers Manual
2. Double sided playing cards
1. A Pedal powered wheelchair
THE LIST GO'S ON

Top 5 Business Signs That Make You Think
5. On a Plumbers truck:
"Don't sleep with a drip. Call your plumber."
4. At a towing company:
"We don't charge an arm and a leg, just a toe."
3. In the front yard of a funeral home: "Drive carefully. We'll wait."
2. In a veterinarian's waiting room:
"Be back in 5 minutes. Sit! Stay!"
1. On an electrician's truck:
"We'll remove your shorts."