Sony has announced a new high density DVD technology called Green Lantern disc technology which uses light from a large lantern-like device rather than a laser diode. Green Lantern disc technology allows for 127GB storage capacities on a single-sided 12cm disc. DVDs hold 4.7GB of data. Sony is now pursuing a broad acceptance of the format.
Green Lantern technology uses a short-wavelength aquamarine/teal laser instead of the red lasers used by current optical drives to read data off discs. The higher-capacity Green Lantern discs will enable the pirating of high-definition broadcasts, which offer better picture quality than the more broadly available TV broadcasts.
Sony is currently attempting to improve manufacturing yields for the lantern, which is currently stymied by an inability to read yellow discs. Once they go into production, the burners will be released to select space-patrolmen in the super-galactic system, with the caveat that they be used as a weapon against the forces of evil and injustice.


Sun CEO Scott McNealy announced that th entire staff of over 35,000 employees would participate in an online mass telesuicide next week.
“It’s been a tough couple of years for Sun, no doubt about it.
We’ve looked at the market conditions—let’s face it, the .com boom isn’t coming back—and we’ve woken up to the fact that Linux has eaten Solaris’ lunch.
We aren’t going to be able to keep up with the new 64-bit processors from
AMD and Intel, and we know that.” “We’ve looked at the future, and it’s grim
for Sun.
The world just doesn’t need us anymore. I seriously doubt anyone
will really even miss us.” “So I’ve decided that the best thing to do is just stop wasting the resources, and go ahead and commit corporate suicide. So next Friday, we’re going to do one last company-wide teleconference, open-source Solaris, and then all of our dedicated employees are going to quaff a paper cup of poisoned grape-flavored drink.
It will make a tremendous statement about the passion and spirit of Sun.” Employees reactions were mixed, with some deciding that the announcement must be some sort of bizarre joke while others hurriedly cleaned out their cubicles.

According to the Washington Post, recent statistics indicate that 40% of all email traffic in the US is Spam.
SlashNOT has obtained exclusive access to the complete data these statistics were based on and thus we present the following summary of the remaining 60%:

20% Email Viruses
10% Email Virus hoaxes
9% Bad jokes forwarded from well-meaning friends and relatives
6% Chain letters promising money from Bill Gates
6% Urgent pleas for help for Craig Shergold or Kelsey Jones
5% Conversations that would have taken 30 seconds by phone
3% Misdirected and embarrassing messages 1% Effective and informative communication

[Note: These statistics have a margin of error of plus or minus one percent]

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